Messin' with Texas

The topic my parents, or at least my mother always wants to know about. And for that matter, a good part of my family. Because my family frequents my webpage I have to be somewhat selective about what I write here. For that matter, the lack of annomynity on my blog (poor choose of domain name I suppose) forces me to always consider my audience. There could be people at work, people I know in the area, family, friends, aquantances ect. There is a whole long list of people that know me (or rather think they know me) that will read these words, so I must tread lightly. However, the last time I wrote about the subject of dating (see “Girls, girls, girls” part I and part II), I had a great deal of fun doing so. I figured when better to write this entry other than Valentine’s Day. I saw the movie “He’s Just Not That Into You,” a great movie for the hopeless romantic, and am since inspired to finally bang out this entry that has been outlined for a month now.

Before anyone reads further, I will state there are no juicy details to my personal life (there never are, nor will they ever appear on this blog). The lack of such details seemed to annoy some people that know me who read all the way to the end expecting the latest gossip. Instead, this is about what I have observed about the single women in this area. I have accounts on three online dating sites, so that’s where most of my information comes from. The rest is hearsay (demographic information can be troublesome to find for free).

First up – Texas has a lot of single moms. I am not sure why that is. A friend joked that there is nothing to do around here except have sex, but I am sure there is more to it than that. Looking through the various dating websites I saw so many single girls in their early 20s with kids. It was actually kind of crazy. A lot of them are divorced. Judging by the pictures they put up of them with their kids, a lot of these girls look like they were teenage moms. According to the Texas Vital Statistics Unit, nearly 8% of all marriages in Texas are teenage girls. To me that seems like a big number.

Some of the guys I work with joke that when you go out, you should only chat with the girls that have black ‘X’s on their hands. These girls are not old enough to drink (21) but are old enough to be in the bar (18). My coworkers argue that these girls have a lower chance of having a kid waiting for them at home. Furthermore, I hear several of the manual workers at work constantly complaining about child support payments. Three kids with three different mothers and a fourth one with a fourth mother on the way. This guy has the nerve to complain that she got pregnant and he’s going to have to support another kid? It takes two to tango buddy.

A baby in bed, or a bun in the oven are warning signs for me. Consequently my dating pool here is significantly reduced. What in the culture makes it this way, I haven’t been able to identify with enough certainty to write about here. One thing I have noticed is that it’s much easier to obtain contraceptives in New York than it is here.

The second big thing I have noticed in the online dating community is the emphasis on Jesus and God. Another half of these girls (some with kids and some without) place a hug emphasis on religion. In New York, I rarely saw someone mention religion in their profile, and rarely was it a deal breaker. Here, the modus operandi is that you can’t expect most of the girls to love you more than they love Jesus. Here is a sample of some of the things I have seen in people’s profiles (I left in the spelling errors. Also all these clipping are from girls between 19 and 27):

• “I am also a strong believer in God and I put my faith in Him”
• “I love God and my children and spending time with both. I’m looking for someone who loves God and family life.” (a double whammy)
• “I for one put God and Church before everything.”
• “Apostolic. Believe in the KJV bible and being baptized in Jesus Name. God chose me, I did not chose him.
• “God, Church, And Family. #1 in my life and always will be. I woudl love ot find someone who loves the truth as much as I do.”
• “I want a very God fearing man thats not afraid of comment.” (I think she met committment. She has one kid and one on the way)
• “well for starters i am a very spiritual female, i am so into god.”
• “i’ve just got out a ten year relationship with my kids father. i love god then my kids are next in line now i’m surching for god to send me someone who can love me and my kid.”
• “Well I’m first and foremost a Christian. If your not, we’re not a match. My relationship with God is my most important one, and church and ministry is a big part of who I am. I read my Bible and pray daily. I’m a mother of 2 amazing kiddos and have deep rooted old fashioned values.” (another double whammy. I found many single mothers are also very religious)

Lastly, my favorite. I took a screen shot:

In one profile, a girl managed to talk about God in every single category including “last read: The bible ” I am not sure how the winky face plays into that. To further her image, this particular girl stated that she wouldn’t dress skanky. I don’t mean to be insensitive, but I have actually bookmarked her profile because I thought that was so funny. After all the God talk, who will read her profile and think “should I message this girl… hmmm… I bet she’s a skank, let’s message the wicca chick with piercings everywhere instead.”

I of course have more griping that I can do, but I will spare you. The one unifying theme I have found is that all Texas girls (again I didn’t see this in New York nearly as often as I do down here) are tired of cheaters, liars and games. That’s ironic. More of them should message me then. I never fill in the portion of these profiles about your income bracket, but perhaps I will and see how it changes things.

Lastly here are two more personal ads, and happy valentine’s day!